The biggest thing on my mind at this moment is that I now have a freshman in college. That's right, college. The emotions that go along with that last sentence are hard for me. It makes me feel old. It makes me sad that our oldest will be leaving the nest soon. This mama's heart is NOT ready for that. Maybe it's because Bryn is a great kid. I know lots of parents say that about their kids (or maybe the don't). But honestly, in the world of parenting she has been a fairly easy kid. The teenage years had some drama, but nothing too over the top. She is so even-keeled (most days). She has a great group of friends. She doesn't drink (no I am not being naive). She's honest. She's responsible. She's funny and loud. She has a very old soul. She is MUCH more grounded at 17 than I was at 30. She has a good head on her shoulders and does not conform just because everyone else is doing it.
I really just want more time with her. More full-time time with her at home with us. More time for her at home with her youngest siblings. More time to teach her things about the world. Maybe in my heart of hearts some more time to do some things over with her. We were so young when we had her. I feel like I failed her on some levels. Not that I have it all figured out in the parenting world now, but I do feel a little wiser.
It has been fun watching her grow up. Sometimes I just miss the days when she was little. I asked her today if she was ready to go to college. She replied with, 'I'm not sure how I feel about that yet'.
I know parenting does not end just because they go off to college. It's just a different stage of parenting.
I know God has great plans for her! Love you, baby girl!
2 comments:
This makes my heart sad for you...wow, to be there already! Yet I know you are so happy for this milestone too. Thanks for sharing! Great post! (and for the record... you are one awesome mama!!)
Now I am crying and wanting to give you a hug. Brynna is a special first grandchild and I know she is ready for the world. She has a great bond with her parents and will always know that you are there for her. Don't wish for do-overs. You have done a wonderful job as parents. You will enjoy this next step in her growing up as she works on her adult life. She isn't leaving you but just moving on in her life. She will always cherish your family.
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