Why does decluttering have to be so painful?

Clutter, clutter, clutter. Trying to de-clutter our house, trying to get rid of the 'stuff', trying to find that balance of what is needed to function daily in a house with 2 adults and 6 kids.  One word for me: OVERWHELMING.  I, unfortunately, did not inherit my mother's organization gene.  Or maybe I only inherited half of it.  My biggest deal is figuring out where to start.  I seriously can see the clutter, but I can walk in a room, look at the clutter and my mind seriously shuts off.  


There is a TON of information out there right now about getting organized, de-cluttering, etc.  Where do you start?  Well, besides the obvious of starting small, not trying to take on too much at once, making lists, etc, it started for me at church.  I know, sounds weird, it didn't even start in my own house where all the chaos exists. 


A couple of weeks ago our pastor was talking about greed.  Now, I don't view myself as a greedy person.  But the main theme our pastor keep talking about was that it was NOT about finances, but about what was in your heart.  Huh?  Yep.  He said this AT LEAST 10 times!  Well, my heart seemed fine to me.  But again, I was hit in the face with a huge reminder, that the 'stuff' that is lying around our house is just that, 'stuff'.  And my heart was coveting this stuff for some reason.  I walked out of church and said to Brian right when we got in the truck that our pastor was right and we needed to get rid of the 'stuff'.  He chuckled. But I knew I needed to make a change.  And that change involved my heart (and my head) thinking I needed this stuff.  But I learned several years ago that stuff doesn't make me happy.  My family makes me happy.  Watching my kids grow and learn makes me happy.  Having a husband that loves me and who is a great father to our kids makes me happy.  Not stuff.


Brian and I have had a huge struggle over the years of how to manage the 'stuff' in our lives.  I am guilty of not wanting to get rid of anything (not on a Hoarder's level, but still way too many things) and I have never understood his need to not need anything.  We also tend to differ greatly on how to 'store' the things we do have.  I think we should have nice containers that are labeled to house all of the 'stuff'.  He thinks if we have to buy a new container we have too much 'stuff' and we need to get rid of said 'stuff' so then the need to get new containers is non-existent.  


I have this picture in my head of what I would like my house to look like.  Nice matching furniture, cool shelving units with all items nicely labeled, neatly folded clothes in all of our dressers and closets.   Someone just slap me now!  This is not going to happen in my earthly lifetime.  I have 6 kids (current age range 9 months to 17 years).  There is no point to having really nice things right now because I would spend all of my time nagging the kids to 'stay off' and 'don't touch' in an attempt to keep that stuff nice.  And, honestly, I don't have the energy or desire to fold every piece of laundry that I wash everyday.  I am fine with it sitting in laundry baskets.  Underwear doesn't need to be folded (yes, mom I truly believe this). And obviously, we cannot take any 'stuff' to heaven with us, so what is my deal?


So Brian and I walked through our house and wrote down 35 areas in our house that we need to clean out, declutter, re-organize, etc.  Some really small rooms have several areas that we have to conquer.  Our laundry room (the smallest room in our house) has 3 areas!  We had some great conversations about things we maybe wanted to do in some of the areas.  This is a great start for us.  To even have these conversations without me having a breakdown that he was trying to take something away from me is a huge step. 


Some of the areas we can do together and some we have to tackle on our own.  First area for me was my closet.  I have been playing the 'when I lose this baby weight I might want to wear that again' game for about 17 years now.  Anyone else play that game?   I have never won.  :(  But I went through my closet one night last week and I have 6 big garbage bags full of clothes that I am getting rid of.  Three of the bags were maternity clothes!  I have struggled with the mere thought of getting rid of my maternity clothes for quite some time.  My mind was racing with questions like 'Does this mean I cannot have more kids?', 'Do I want to have anymore babies?', etc.  I finally landed on this.....getting rid of those clothes means nothing more than this:  I am getting rid of those clothes.  Just like I am getting rid of the other 3 bags of non-maternity clothes. After all, if God decides that our family will be blessed with anymore children, then I can get more maternity clothes. (I am a great thrift shopper!)  (Side note:  someone please pick my mother up off the floor. Even talk of a slight chance of a possible maybe of having more kids causes her heart to palpate just a bit.  Relax, mom. :)


I now have some ginormous storage space in my closet.  And I am okay with that.  It is not space that I feel that I have to have 'stuff' in.  I am leaving it empty for now.  Maybe some other great idea will hit me when we clean out other areas of this space being useful in some other way.  Maybe it just needs to stay empty to remind me that clear space serves it's own purpose.


I am truly hoping that our 'de-stuffing' project will really allow us to focus more.  Okay, maybe I just need to focus more.  It's odd how cleaning out a closet is a satisfying task.  But it is about my heart.  And it's not about wanting to get more stuff.  It's about simplifying.  The less stuff we have the easier our lives really will be....less pick-up time daily, less cleaning.  More time to spend together as a family (although family cleaning can be fun!)


Any ideas for organization would be truly appreciated.  I have a Pinterest account now and have some ideas out there. I would love to hear from others that have struggled with this same issue.  And I am selling some of this 'stuff'.  Anyone that needs maternity clothes, I have just about everything. :)


Thank you, Doug (our pastor), for giving the message you did a few weeks ago.  My husband will be forever grateful.  :)

                                (my bags of stuff from my closet)